You Don't Convince By Challenging

You don’t convince people by challenging their longest and most firmly held opinions. You find common ground and work from there. Or you look for leverage to make them listen. Or you create an alternative with so much support from other people that the opposition voluntarily abandons its views and joins your camp.

Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way

Find common ground: It starts with empathy. Ask more questions than you offer answers. Listen more than you talk. Find out where he wants to go & from whence he’s come. Tell him your story. (It’s only common if it’s shared.)

Look for leverage: It starts with courage. Don’t be scared to create tension, to ask why she believes what she believes, to ask for evidence. She won’t hear you until she hears herself.

Create an alternative: It starts with connection. Expose him to differing ideas. Introduce him to people just like him on the same journey. Instigate conversation. Celebrate success & create role models. Don’t tell him change is possible, show him.

Patrick Cummings